Young Baby Young

I’m quite delighted with myself.  This is not unusual.  Chris comes home from work many nights and as I recap my day — including all of my funny quips and commentaries — I shake my head contentedly and remind Chris that he’s very lucky to be with me.  I usually get a noncommittal “mmm hmm” in return.  But that’s okay; I know he knows what I know.  Sometimes I make him say it out loud, but other times I let it be.  [Picture me pointing two fingers at my eyes, then over to your eyes, then back to mine.]

So what set me off today?  I had the urge to make split pea soup.  I went to my cookbooks and found the recipe.  I always make notes on recipes that I try — I include the date, the overall approval rating, and any other notes that might be useful for the next time I make it.  I often find my commentary quite amusing when I look at it at a later date.  Today was no exception:

Yes, that’s correct: it reads “very good — induces labor — omit carrots.”  I have another recipe that has the note of “fan-ghetto-tastic”, or there’s one that I apparently didn’t like because I retitled it a “dung cake”.  Ahh, what a legacy I will leave for my child….

Also causing me to shake with mirth at my own recollections: in honor of Halloween, I thought my favorite-coworker-to-pick-on, Ed, should be given a trick instead of a treat.  I mean, treats are everywhere…who goes for the trick these days?  The mere idea of playing [yet another] prank on Ed has me giggling with glee.  It also causes me to take a slow and meandering stroll down memory lane as I remember other delightful tricks that I’ve played on this man.

1. There was the incident of the little red car.  Ed likes NASCAR.  Why, I couldn’t tell you.  Even though he’s a fully-grown man, he keeps toy NASCAR cars in his office, proudly on display.  Why would he tempt me like this?  Surely any court of law would agree that I was being taunted.  With the help of Kelly and Rhonda, we decided to steal the car and leave photographs of it in its place.  We took it all around town and each day, a new picture would mysteriously appear.  Here’s the car in front of Pepper’s Pub!  How did the car get to the gas station?  Look, the car’s in front of Ed’s house!  Even the president of the bank is in on the car heist!  Oooh, good times, good times.
2. Then there was the time I had a true stroke of genius.  Ed leaves his reading glasses on his desk each night.  I couldn’t help myself; a mischievous feeling came over me.  I found some Saran Wrap in the kitchen and meticulously cut out pieces that were the exact size of each lens, then I carefully stuck them on.  Ed got in to work the next morning, put on his glasses to look at his computer screen, and found everything to be totally blurry.  He silently shook his fists at the cleaning crew, who obviously were doing a bad job, and wiped the lens off.  He put the glasses back on; they were still blurry.  Now he was mad.  He cursed whatever filth must be spewing out of the air vents to cause such a film on his glasses.  He cleaned them again; again he could not see.  The angry commentary went from inside of his head to outside of his mouth.  (Luckily for him, no one was around at that hour of the morning.)  Upon closer examination of the offending glasses, he noticed that a little something was starting to lift off of the corner….
3. A simple, yet amusing, prank was the day I took the remote control for his TV and looked for a place to hide it.  I finally found the perfect location inside of the attached VCR slot.  He was impressed when he finally found it.
4. Just recently I took the liberty of rehanging a picture in his office…upside down…  Good time, good times.
5. And then there was the time I disconnected his printer from his computer, but left everything else plugged in so it would light up, etc. 
6. Today’s trick: a rather elaborate scavenger hunt to find the TV I will be absconding with.  I’m clapping my hands just thinking about the funness he will be subjected to first thing Monday morning.  The first note, which will be placed where the TV should have been, reads, “Trick or Treat!  You weren’t here to choose, so we selected for you: trick!  Follow the clues and hopefully you’ll track down your TV again.  (We don’t want you to miss Dr. Phil and Oprah!)”  Oooooh, I’m so excited!  Can’t wait for Emily to wake up so I can put my plan into action.  Much to Ed’s future dismay, I have the next prank already conceived of in this crazy brain of mine.  Obviously, I can’t spill it here — someone might tell him about it before I have a chance to do it!